Hello, dear Readers,
Below is my book review of Girl, Uncoded: A Memoir of Passion, Betrayal, and Eventual Blessings by Brandi Dredge.
Title: Girl, Uncoded: A Memoir of Passion, Betrayal, and Eventual Blessings
Rating: 5/5 Stars
Genre: Memoir
Author: Brandi Dredge
Publisher: She Writes Press
Publication Date: October 22, 2024
Language: English
Paperback: 284 pages
Meet the Author: Brandi Dredge
Buy Me: AmazonBook Description
For fans of true crime memoir comes a gripping tale of one woman’s harrowing and spiritual journey of resilience after she learns that she was a victim of a sex crime—and her husband was the culprit.
At sixteen, Caroline longed to meet the man who owned the apartment she was hanging out at with her teenage friends. The one they said was a stripper, a fact that intrigued her. From the moment she saw Gary Richard, she craved his attention—and once their eyes met, he was all she wanted.
Months later, she was dismayed to discover that she was pregnant. But she had Gary Richard, she reassured herself, and he was all she needed to be okay. A belief that didn’t change even when, holding their week-old son, she sat in court and watched him face charges for stolen property. This was her family, her life; so when Gary Richard’s lawyer suggested a ploy to show the judge he was a changed man, she agreed. At seventeen years old, she became a wife.
Over the next nine years, Caroline’s identity and dreams of a fairy-tale life became twisted by adultery, betrayal, poverty, court cases, and lies. And then, one evening, the reality of her marriage finally became clear to her after a sergeant revealed she was the victim of one of her husband’s crimes—statutory rape—and her son’s DNA was the evidence the prosecution needed to convict him.
My Thoughts
A lot of people, including myself, at some point in life, have questioned why victims of domestic violence, or any abuse for that matter, don't leave their abusers. They just have to go, they say. Unfortunately, it has been proven time and again it is not that easy, even more depending on the level of abuse that person is experiencing. I am not saying that a little bit of abuse is ok; any kind of abuse is never justifiable; however, how severe it is makes it harder to walk away from the situation.
I genuinely believe that is the case for the person at the center of Girl, Uncoded Caroline, and Gary Richard, who ends up being her husband.
She met him when she was a minor, and he was much older than her. They married and had a child. Even before getting married, he managed to control her and every situation and decision. This went on until years later, when Caroline finally walked away from the marriage, divorced him, and he was out of their house.
Even though, through the years, Caroline started seeing who her husband really was, all the bad things and bad situations he put her and the kids through, the times she tried to end it, the times she forgave him again and again, at first I think she did it because she really thought things could get fixed and better, but in the end, in my humble opinion, I felt more than for the sake of the marriage; she stayed because of the kids. This is one big reason why I believe victims of abuse can't just leave; when there are children involved, it makes things more complicated because of the kids.
I can only imagine how Caroline felt when she realized who her husband really was, all that he did to her, the kids, and their marriage, and also how hard it was for her to leave that toxic, abusive, unsustainable relationship. Put herself and the kids first. We all want our lives to work out for good, to have successful marriages, and to have the most minor problems possible. Still, at the same time, all these things are part of what life is, failure, mistakes, and disappointment, and I command Caroline to be brave enough to stop the abuse.
Thank you, She Writes Press and NetGalley, for the free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Wendy
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